How to Date Your Partner Forever
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I have to tell you about a dating system that I just found out my cousin and his wife have. This is an ongoing dating system. It’s a system you can do with your spouse, or your significant other, or your friendly neighborhood dungeon master (you know, if you want to keep that relationship solid).
Now, let me tell you about Sam, and his wife Julia. They are a married couple with a bunch of kids. They are not dungeon masters. Or at least I don’t think they are.
And there are only a handful of married couples I know who I look at and think, wow. Those guys should be showing the whole world how to do this. Yes, Sam and Julia are one of them.
My sister Tomi Ann and her husband Dan are one of them.
There was me and both of my wives. We were one of them… and then one of them. Oh wait scratch that one. We definitely weren’t one of them. Either time.
But there was definitely my grandma and grandpa. They fit the bill.
Anyway, I’ve noticed they all have something in common. They actively date the person they’re with. They always have, and I know they always will. They make time for each other no matter how busy and how hectic life is. They set aside time to get away from their kids, and their routines, and their everything, to focus on each other.
Which brings us to the system. Sam and Julia came up with this awesome idea because, as I remember Sam putting it, “they found themselves always doing the same things on their dates,” and after some 15 years or something together, the dates were starting to get a little stale. (Julia, please note the stale part was not in quotes.)
Anyway, the first part of their system is that they switch off with each other who has to plan it and put it together each week. The other one has to just promise to be there and do whatever the other has planned.
Sam gets one week. Julia gets the next week. Then Sam gets the next week. And Julia gets the week after that. Then Sam gets… oh you get it already? Sorry, it’s complicated stuff. Just wanted to make sure.
So… the schedule. Scheduled out. Assigned.
Then, things get awesome in a hurry.
They have appointed every date on the schedule (months in advance, even) to a theme that has to fit one of six different motifs.
Now, I’m going off of memory here, but I think these were the themes:
Smurfs. Stilts. Pianos. Outdated technology. Attractive UPS drivers. And, of course, dungeons.
Oh, wait.
Sorry. That would be my list.
Their list of date night themes was actually something like: mental, physical, cultural, emotional, social, and dungeons.
Oh wait. #6 wasn’t dungeons. Sorry, it’s been on the brain.I think it was actually “new experiences.” Don’t ask me why I put that in quotes.
Regardless, you get the idea. They came up with six themes or topics that they wanted to always focus on together, and they take turns coming up with dates that are focused on the theme of the night.
For new experiences, maybe they take a sushi making course.
For mental dates, maybe they go to a science exhibit with skinned dead people and learn what it means to want to become a vegetarian.
For cultural, maybe they go watch women dance on the tips of their toes, or tuba players play to sold out crowds of tens of thousands of people (minus the thousands part).
For Physical, maybe they go climb a giant rock wall and curse and cry and hope it ends as soon as possible.
For emotional, maybe they go have a romantic candlelit picnic in whatever woods are least likely to have bears or serial killers.
And for social, maybe they line up a game night with friends or family members because, you know, those are always fun and never dramatic.
Oh man, the possibilities are endless with this system, aren’t they?
If you or I did it, maybe have a spirituality theme date night? Maybe a “flirt with the law” date night? Maybe a service oriented date night? Maybe even a Smurfs playing the piano while walking on stilts date night?
Like I said, endless.
The point is, it’s a fantastic system (if you keep it!) to 1) never get bored, 2) always stay in love with each other, and 3) keep your “after the date night” part of the nights boucin’, if you read what I’m laying down. Or what you’re laying down. Or whatever.
Now, if anyone could just tell me how to get further than a second date so that I can actually get to a place where a system like this would be useful to me, I’d appreciate it.